Don’t treat your LDR partner as a back-up plan

If sparks fizzle, end it rather than cheat

Picture this: You are at a party and you look incredible. You catch an attractive someone’s eye, and they stride over, asking how long you’re intending to stay the night. Alarmed, you think, “I’ve got somebody at home, and if I stay, I might not leave alone.”

This was precisely the scenario painted by Andy Grammer’s lyrics for his song, “Honey, I’m Good”. The song presents the man as he makes his choice. Surrounded by “long, long legs” everywhere and despite the attraction he feels, he remembers his partner and says, “Nah, honey, I’m good.” He is committed to being monogamous and faithful to his original relationship.

The song peaked at number 9 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 2014, suggesting that people resonate with the desire to be a loving, faithful partner (and of course, the rhythm is catchy too!). Get on Youtube to watch the official music video and you are greeted with many comments gushing over the cuteness of the music video which features real-life couples who had been together for up to 71 years!

This YouTube video is too cute not to share.

I find that some people may enter a long-distance relationship with a less healthy mindset. The long-distance partner is an insurance option. As the partner is away, they can explore other options locally and “trade up”.

I will be the first to say that you would not have failed in a long-distance relationship if you break up, because to me, being in a relationship is meant to be a chance to discover if you are really meant for each other. Breaking up over long-distance, lifestyle differences, etc are all valid!

However, cheating during a long-distance relationship is an issue of integrity. Trust is a core principle of relationships, even more so in a long-distance relationship when one would barely have the chance to see each other in person. At the start of the relationship, my then-boyfriend and I mutually agreed that we will break up and never get back together if one of us cheats on the other. As should you, if your partner cheats during the long-distance relationship.

So to give your LDR the best shot, try out this principle:

Not to cheat on each other for as long as you are together.